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March 11, 2026
Like most people, I sometimes find myself wondering whether I’m ‘doing retirement ‘right.
There’s no handbook, and no clear guidelines. And so it’s difficult to stop yourself from looking at what other people are doing and wondering whether you’ve missed something. Who’s travelling more? Who’s doing something different? Who seems to have found the right formula?
So rather than speculate, I tend to carry out a sense check - every now and then - by asking other people about their choices and experiences. In this case I’ve reached across The Pond to find out whether distance or nationality makes any difference, and what their retirement really looks like from the inside.
What they shared was both illuminating and reassuring.
We’ve always had an open-door policy at our home. Friends, and friends of friends, are always welcome. I know Leanne through one of her daughters, who was in town for a concert with another young friend of ours. We haven’t yet met in person, but it’s only a matter of time.
My friendship with Gina goes back decades. She was one of a small group of U.S. students who came to spend a year studying at our university. What began as a visiting-student experience quickly turned into a lasting friendship, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Leanne, based in Virginia, retired after long careers in both the U.S. Navy and education. Her retirement is firmly rooted in family. Much of her time is spent caring for her grandchildren, supporting her adult children, and maintaining a busy, structured routine that still leaves room for travel — whether that’s crossing states to visit family or heading further afield for the occasional overseas adventure.
“In retirement, I’m ‘just Grandma,’ but I’m perfectly at peace with that. The respect I get from my grandkids — their excitement when they see me — means everything.”
Gina, living in California, has shaped her retirement around health, freedom, and enjoyment.
Her days are deliberately unhurried, centred on wellness and choosing experiences that bring her joy — from staying active to enjoying where she lives – she’s experiencing life her way.
“The best part is simple: I do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want.”
Different lifestyles. Different priorities. And yet, some striking similarities.
Both spoke about the freedom of letting go of external expectations — including the idea that retirement needs to look impressive, busy, or adventurous to be valid. One finds fulfilment in family and responsibility, the other in autonomy and flexibility. Neither feels the need to justify those choices and is content in the knowledge that being themselves is enough.
Leanne - “Everyone told me it was time to ‘take it easy’ — but I’ve never been good at sitting
still.”
Gina - “I wanted structure, variety, and a sense that each day had purpose — even if that
purpose shifted.”
Travel remains important to both, but not as a test of endurance or a race to tick off destinations. Instead, it’s about meaningful trips, comfort, curiosity, and choosing experiences that fit into the pattern of their lives.
Leaving behind long professional identities was a bigger adjustment than either anticipated. But purpose didn’t vanish. It shifted. Leadership became caregiving. Achievement became wellbeing. Purpose remains, it just finds a new form.
Leanne - “Transitioning from Navy Captain to teacher was a huge adjustment. Now, in retirement, I’m ‘just Grandma’ — and that feels enough.”
Gina - “Every so often I think, ‘I still have so much to offer.’ But honestly, I’m having too much fun right now to interrupt my travels to find out.”
One of the biggest surprises was how full life remains. Weeks still have structure, commitments, and a pattern to the days — with just far more choice over how time is spent. Almost every retiree you’ll ever meet will say ‘I don’t know how I ever found time to work’ – and it’s so true. In retirement, the real difference is that we just have the ability to fill our time with the things that matter most to us rather than having to think about careers and pay cheques.
Leanne - “People assume retirees have endless hours — but life stays full.”
Gina - “I imagined endless days, but they fly by.”
What struck me most wasn’t how different Leanne’s and Gina’s lives are. It was how similar their outlook turned out to be. Both were looking to enjoy their time. To stay connected. To remain curious. And to travel in ways that enhanced life rather than travel being an end in itself.
There isn’t one correct formula for retirement. But what many of us seem to share is a common goal: to shape this stage of life to deliver meaning, enjoyment and adventure.
And perhaps that’s the real answer.
Retirement isn’t about putting on our slippers and retreating to a rocking chair, it’s about doing all of those things that we always dreamed of and having the best time of our lives!!
This is an original article by Phil Marsh, DECADES’ Retiree in Residence and the writer behind Rookie Retiree.
Phil explores retirement as an opportunity for adventure, learning and reinvention, with a practical, lived perspective on life after work.
👉 Read more from Phil here.
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